What to Do in the First Minutes After the Death of a Loved One
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If someone close to you has just died, it is important to know what to do in the first minutes. This guide offers step-by-step recommendations to help you stay calm and ensure safety.
First of all - take care of yourself
Pause. Take a few slow, deep breaths.
Make sure you are safe.
If you have water nearby, take a small sip.
Contact emergency services
• If the death was sudden, call emergency services immediately
(112 in most European countries, 999 in the UK) and follow their instructions.
• If the death was expected (for example, during palliative care), notify the doctor or care team who were supporting the person.
If possible, ask someone to be with you - a trusted person, a neighbor, or someone who can offer immediate support.
What Not to Do Immediately After a Death
• Do not rush to act on your own if you are unsure what to do.
Call emergency services and follow their guidance.
• Do not touch or move the body until medical professionals arrive.
• Do not begin cleaning, changing clothes, or preparing the body yourself.
• Do not stay alone if you feel panic or numbness.
Reach out to a loved one, a neighbor, a bereavement support worker, or a death doula (if available).
• Do not make important decisions or sign documents while in shock.
Everything can be done later. Take your time. Breathe.
What Must Not Be Done After a Death
❌ Do not conceal the death or avoid contacting medical professionals — official confirmation is legally required.
❌ Do not use water, candles, aromas, or medications on the body before professionals arrive.
❌ Do not blame yourself or others. In this moment, the most important thing is simply to be present and to breathe.
If the Death Occurs at Night or on a Weekend
Call emergency services (112 in most of Europe, 999 in the UK).
If the person was under palliative care, contact the on-call physician or care provider.
Can You Touch or Hug the Body?
You may gently touch the body if it feels important to you, but do not change its position or remove clothing until medical professionals arrive.
Should You Close the Eyes or Mouth?
No. This is done by trained professionals after death has been officially confirmed.
Can You Light a Candle or Open a Window?
If it is safe and aligns with your cultural or personal traditions, you may do so — but not around the body before medical personnel arrive.
What to Say to Children If They Are Present
Speak simply and honestly:
“They have died. Their body is no longer breathing and does not feel pain.”
Allow the child to ask questions and respond at their pace.
What to Do If Panic or a Sense of Unreality Appears
Sit down. Place a hand on your chest.
Take slow breaths in and out.
Ask someone to stay with you.
Small sips of water can help restore a sense of control.
Who Can Support You After Emergency Services Arrive
• A trusted loved one.
• A bereavement support worker or death doula (if available).
• A psychologist, crisis support service, or emergency mental health line.
Seeking help is not weakness.
It is a way to survive a moment no one should face alone.
Pause. Take a few slow, deep breaths.
Make sure you are safe.
If you have water nearby, take a small sip.
Contact emergency services
• If the death was sudden, call emergency services immediately
(112 in most European countries, 999 in the UK) and follow their instructions.
• If the death was expected (for example, during palliative care), notify the doctor or care team who were supporting the person.
If possible, ask someone to be with you - a trusted person, a neighbor, or someone who can offer immediate support.
What Not to Do Immediately After a Death
• Do not rush to act on your own if you are unsure what to do.
Call emergency services and follow their guidance.
• Do not touch or move the body until medical professionals arrive.
• Do not begin cleaning, changing clothes, or preparing the body yourself.
• Do not stay alone if you feel panic or numbness.
Reach out to a loved one, a neighbor, a bereavement support worker, or a death doula (if available).
• Do not make important decisions or sign documents while in shock.
Everything can be done later. Take your time. Breathe.
What Must Not Be Done After a Death
❌ Do not conceal the death or avoid contacting medical professionals — official confirmation is legally required.
❌ Do not use water, candles, aromas, or medications on the body before professionals arrive.
❌ Do not blame yourself or others. In this moment, the most important thing is simply to be present and to breathe.
If the Death Occurs at Night or on a Weekend
Call emergency services (112 in most of Europe, 999 in the UK).
If the person was under palliative care, contact the on-call physician or care provider.
Can You Touch or Hug the Body?
You may gently touch the body if it feels important to you, but do not change its position or remove clothing until medical professionals arrive.
Should You Close the Eyes or Mouth?
No. This is done by trained professionals after death has been officially confirmed.
Can You Light a Candle or Open a Window?
If it is safe and aligns with your cultural or personal traditions, you may do so — but not around the body before medical personnel arrive.
What to Say to Children If They Are Present
Speak simply and honestly:
“They have died. Their body is no longer breathing and does not feel pain.”
Allow the child to ask questions and respond at their pace.
What to Do If Panic or a Sense of Unreality Appears
Sit down. Place a hand on your chest.
Take slow breaths in and out.
Ask someone to stay with you.
Small sips of water can help restore a sense of control.
Who Can Support You After Emergency Services Arrive
• A trusted loved one.
• A bereavement support worker or death doula (if available).
• A psychologist, crisis support service, or emergency mental health line.
Seeking help is not weakness.
It is a way to survive a moment no one should face alone.